As with anything with life, how you start your marriage will determine how smooth or bumpy the journey will be. Getting the right start in your marriage doesn’t come by default; there are some decisions you need to make that will foster harmony between two adults beginning life together.
After the excitement of the wedding ceremony, you and your spouse will be left alone to contend with life. Though you will have received a ton of advice on how you should conduct your marriage, nothing can prepare you for the reality of married life. Your first year as a couple will set the tone for the rest of your marriage.
Here are some ideas you can use to ensure you lay the right foundation.
- Show Appreciation
It is human nature to want to complain about things your spouse hasn’t done or things he or she has done wrong. But before you moan about your partner’s shortcomings, pause and think about the good they have done, no matter how small.
Deliberately choose to magnify the good over the not-so-good. This will impress upon your spouse how much you value them more than the things they do. Make a habit of appreciating your spouse whether they wash up after you make dinner or take you out on a six-course meal. The more you show Appreciation, the more motivated they will be to please you.
- Give Each Other Space
Before you were joined in holy matrimony, you and your spouse were individuals with likes and dislikes, goals and aspirations. Who you are as an individual doesn’t disappear when you tie the knot.
Yes, there are things you will need to do together, and family time will always be a priority. But if your wife needs a weekend off with her girlfriends to blow off steam. Similarly, you can leave your husband to his game and his beer for just a couple of hours.
Being married doesn’t mean spending every waking moment together. You can cherish your time together while respecting each other’s private moments.
- Establish a Communication Method
Communication is an essential part of any relationship, not just between marriage partners. Without communication, it is impossible to have the understanding and empathy that leads to harmony in a home. Communication is not merely exchanging words; it is about each party expressing themselves and knowing that they have been heard.
Effective communication in marriage doesn’t happen by default; there are some decisions a couple needs to make to establish a communication method. Both partners need to make an effort to listen actively when the other is expressing themselves.
Active listening means being quiet and communicating empathy using your tone and body language. This will involve putting your ego to one side even if you feel you’re in the right.
- Be Responsible
One of the key benefits of marriage is getting a life partner who can share the duties and responsibilities that come with running a home. You and your spouse should devise a system of divvying up tasks, and each of you should be accountable to ensure that it’s done.
Both of you should pull your weight in every aspect of managing your home, from household chores to raising the kids. If you’re always making excuses when it’s your turn to help your kids with their homework, you could be opening an avenue for conflict.
This responsibility should apply to financial matters. You will not be able to realize your goals as a family if one of you is not living up to their agreed savings and life insurance contributions. SelectQuote Life Insurance can help you find policies that won’t make you and your partner strain in practicing financial responsibility.
- Practice Leniency
Not every day of your marriage will find you and your spouse in that romantic haze you enjoyed during your courtship days. There are days you will find yourself taking your partner for granted or refusing to communicate about why you’re in such low spirits.
But even on those days, you’re not feeling at your best, don’t beat yourself up about it. By the same token, you should recognize when your spouse is not at their lovable best and allow them space to be imperfect. You were not born knowing how to be the perfect husband or wife, and neither was your partner. Give yourselves time and space to learn day by day.
The Quest Never Ends
This list of rules for newlyweds hoping to build lasting unions is by no means exhaustive. However, it will give you and your beloved a place to start in the quest to keep your love flame burning. Continually seek wisdom from as many good sources as you can.