Cheating leaves a bad taste in the mouth. It speaks of the mental and emotional pain inflicted on someone by the very person whom they probably trusted the most. It creates visions of broken hearts, broken trust, and the copious tears shed for someone who may not even deserve it. And how do you move on from that? How to get over someone cheating on you?
Why Do People End Up Cheating in a Relationship?
Cheating has no gender- men and women cheat. Unfortunately, it also does not recognize laws of the state or the church- wife cheats on husband, husband cheats on wife. Even time can’t really tell- long-term committed relationships have been known to fall apart because one partner cheats on the other. But why do people cheat?
Here are some of the reasons why some people end up cheating on their partners. These are not meant to give an excuse to a cheater’s action or behavior, simply an attempt to show where they could be coming from.
This is one of the most common reasons for infidelity, disconnection, or drifting apart with your partner. This may be because they realized they don’t have much in common, or things have become predictable, or life has been dominated by their work or their kids.
- Feeling Neglected and Unloved
Women associate this reason more with their cheating behavior. Some people cheat because of their partner’s supposed lack of attention. It can also be because they feel unloved, failing to take into consideration that their partner may simply have a different love language- not verbal, cuddly, and the like.
- For Variety
For some, cheating is simply their answer to boredom. This is more commonly tied to men’s cheating behavior.
- Self-Esteem Related
For some, cheating is a way to boost their self-esteem. It could be because they equate more partners to being a great partner while some simply want the attention.
- Lack or Fear of Commitment
The lack of commitment to a romantic relationship or the fear to fully commit to someone also often leads to cheating.
- Sexually Addictive Behavior
Infidelity is often linked to problems in controlling sexual desire. Sexually addictive behavior can be compulsive in ways that alcohol or drug addiction can be. For some, this can mean habitual engagement in sexual activity by cheating repeatedly or having multiple partners.
How To Get Over Being Cheated On
“I’ve been cheated on! What happens after I catch him cheating?” Well, knowing it and accepting it is the first step. After all, you can not properly deal with something, much less get over something, if you are in denial about it. There is certainly no one-way-fits-all when it comes to getting over being cheated on. The same goes with getting over the person who cheated on you, that is if you decide to call it quits. There are, however, some things or steps you can incorporate into your healing process.
- Allow Yourself to Mourn But Don’t Blame Yourself
Getting cheated on is devastating so let yourself grieve. You owe it to yourself to mourn your relationship, the memories you’ve shared and all the things you’ve lost because of your partner’s cheating. However, be careful not to dwell too much on negative emotions, thoughts, and feelings. Most importantly, do not blame yourself for their behavior. Keep on reminding yourself that even with your faults, your partner could have opted to talk about it instead of cheating.
- Get the Closure You Need
Getting closure, at its core, is knowing why your partner cheated on you. If you feel you’re ready to face or talk about it with them, then do it. From there, start focusing on how to move on with your life. Or you can start working together to save your marriage and close that chapter of your relationship.
- Surround Yourself with Trusted Friends and Family
When you are down and broken, it is a good idea to surround yourself with people you trust and who truly care about you. Spend time with friends, family members, or even a support group. You can also pick up a hobby instead of, say, mindlessly scrolling through social media. Healing is a process; but as you heal, take time to set some goals to help you get back on track- and yes, you can start small.
- If You Choose To Let Go, Don’t Look Back
If you decide to end the relationship, then it’s best to cut ties with your ex. In time, you may be able to forgive them but it doesn’t mean that you allow them back into your life.
- If You Decide to Stay, Make Sure Everything’s Clear
Several factors affect one’s decision on whether to let go or stay. In some cases, especially for married couples, people choose to stay together – and there shouldn’t be any judgment here. Just make sure to talk it out and make your partner understand it would take time to rebuild trust.
- Seek Professional Help If Necessary
Getting hurt by someone you love and trust can take a great toll emotionally and mentally. If you experience ongoing sadness that never seems to lift, changes in your eating and sleeping patterns, suicidal thoughts, or the like, do not be afraid to seek professional help.
How to get over a cheating girlfriend, boyfriend, or spouse, in the end, will be up to you. We hope the things mentioned above will help you through your healing journey. Don’t let one failed relationship define who you are as a partner or dictate your worth as a person. More importantly, do not let it embitter you and steal your ability to fall in love again.