How to Pick a Relationship Therapist: Everything You Need to Know

By now, it’s no secret that almost 50% of marriages end in divorce. This statistic is hardly new, yet it continues to haunt many young couples.

Thanks to these fears of divorce, it’s common for anxious young newlyweds to take online quizzes about “relationship styles” and “love languages.” Instagram pages about co-dependency and communication have millions of followers.

While all of these solutions are trendy, not all of them are reliable.

In fact, the only way to guarantee that you’re receiving good advice is by hiring a marriage therapist. Marriage therapists have spent years learning how to support couples through difficult moments. And they have degrees to prove it.

Read on to learn how to pick a relationship therapist to help you navigate the ins and outs of marriage.

It’s All About Connection

Therapy is a great way to connect with your partner. However, that kind of connection is impossible if you, or your partner, don’t connect with your therapist.

Before you choose someone to work with, you and your partner should interview a few different options for therapists.

Ask yourselves how you feel in the company of each therapist. Do you feel relaxed with this person? Will you be able to open up to them? Or, does something about the person make you feel unsettled?

Make sure to talk openly with your partner about how each therapist makes you feel. And don’t choose a therapist unless you both feel comfortable around that person.

Therapy is all about trust. Therefore, you and your partner must both be able to trust your therapist in order to make any sort of progress.

Research Types of Therapy

You won’t connect with every therapist that you interview. And you won’t relate to every single type of relationship therapy.

Some licensed therapists focus more on a couple’s physical relationship. For example, sex therapists can support couples who are struggling with anything from sexual trauma to a lack of chemistry in the bedroom.

Meanwhile, emotionally-focused therapy (EFT) is supposed to improve bonding between you and your partner. And the Gottman method is intended to improve communication and intimacy between you and your partner.

Read online reviews about each type of therapy. Then, choose two or three therapy types that seem like a good fit for you.

When you are in the interview phase, talk to a few therapists with different kinds of relationship therapy experience. In that way, you can get a feel for the kind of therapy that would be best for your relationship.

Don’t Wait for Problems to Arise

Most relationship counselors agree that couples tend to pursue therapy once their relationships have already declined.

Unfortunately, this is not the best way to save a marriage from divorce. Most couples would be better off enrolling in therapy before they have huge problems to work through.

Starting therapy early in a relationship can prevent larger problems from arising. It can also give couples the tools to avoid larger conflicts.

Premarital counseling is an excellent way to begin your marriage. By undergoing therapy sessions early on in the relationship, you and your partner can develop the skills you will need to stay together in the long run.