According to the American Psychological Association, almost 48% of the marriages in the country end up in divorce within 20 years. In addition, 20% of the marriages end in the first 5 years.
The rate of divorces in subsequent marriages is even higher. While most people do not realize it, divorces can be brutal, more so if there are children involved. Remember that if the parents are at their best emotionally, and mentally, the process will be smoother for all parties involved.
While sometimes divorces are necessary, they have negative impacts on all the parties. When couples are at odds of each other, they build anger and resentment which often override logic and reason. Most people will try to make life as difficult as possible for the parties involved, they also end up hurting themselves in the process.
This article will give you valuable tips on how you can deal with divorce stress and keep your peace of mind, self-confidence, and emotional well-being.
1. Take Advantage of Collaborative Divorce Proceedings
Not only are divorce stressful, but they are also quite expensive processed. In many cases, people will lose their cars, homes, and savings to cover legal bills. When you add this financial crisis to the mix, it is understandable why divorce is the leading cause of depression today.
If you choose to go for collaborative divorce proceedings, the costs will be reduced and so will the legal proceedings. On average, a collaborative divorce will cost you a third of what the conventional ones will cost.
Try, whenever possible to work out a divorce plan with your spouse so that you only have to pay a flat rate for divorce mediation service. If you fail to do so, you will waste countless hours and dollars in legal wrangling over tiny details.
Even with co-owned properties, businesses and children, you can come to agreements that will save a lot of money. And that is money both of you need to start your new lives.
2. Seek Support
There is no shame in asking a friend or relative to accompany you to the divorce proceedings. It will also be more useful for you to call family and friends each time you are feeling overwhelmed.
You may also consider seeking professional help. A therapist will help you process your emotions and understand how you can improve your life and make the divorce process easier.
With a good support system, you will have a judgment-free space where you can process these difficult feelings.
3. Take the Time You Need to Grieve
Separation and divorce often invoke feelings similar to those of losing a loved one through death. It is the consequence of loss. So give yourself and your partner the time to grieve your relationship and time together.
It is common to have feelings of anger, sadness, and denial, but remind yourself that this too shall pass.
It is normal to feel fearful of starting new relationships and have a hard time feeling anything at all. These are normal reactions.
So be ready to deal with a wide range of emotions and take all the time you need to grieve. Remember that while you want to maintain a civilized relationship with your ex for the sake of the kids, you are not yet ready to be friends with them.
4. Open Your Personal Bank Account
Based on the banking laws, a couple who share a joint bank account should know that both of them can clear out their savings. It is important that you have your own personal account where your money can go as you finalize the process. While the person who takes all the money will have to share eventually, this may take a long time.
5. Be Physically Active to Reduce Divorce Stress
The easiest and healthiest way to get rid of stress is by focusing on physical activities. So join a gym, start jogging in the morning and use YouTube to get some home workouts.
Being physically active helps release serotonin which is a happy hormone. It will easily remove the cloud of negativity and rejuvenate your spirit.
6. Never Make Hasty Decisions
If your living situation is highly stressful, it is likely that you will want to make rushed decisions in a bid to improve all areas of your life at once. Remember that all decisions you make will either positively, or negatively impact your life.
Therefore, take time to think about what you are about to do. Take a legal pad and write the pros and cons if you have to. Be guided by logical thinking not just your emotions. Even the decision to binge eat at these stressful times will negatively impact your health.
In case you already signed your child custody agreement and you think it needs to be modified due to various reasons, hire a child custody attorney to help out. Haste decisions do not always need to be binding but can be rectified. Learn more on how an attorney can help.
7. Prioritize and Simplify
At these stressful times, you are definitely not functioning at full capacity. Give yourself a much-needed break. Take a pen and write what activities in your life are most important.
Sideline all the others that can wait. This way, you will have time for things that matter and manage to do what’s important for your kids.
You can call a cleaning service to help you clean the home, tend to the lawn and maybe even make meals for yourself. Learn to say no to things that will not empower you or make you feel better in the long run.
8. Redefine Yourself
There must be a lot of things you have forgone to be with your partner. Now is the time to find a new interest and change yourself for the better. Dust off on hidden hobbies and talents and try new things.
Join a club, volunteer in your community and immerse yourself in activities that bring that spark in your life. This is also a great way to cultivate new relationships.
Divorce Stress is Manageable
Set your emotions aside and see whether the divorce process can be made easier on both of you. Working together will need compromises, but it offers more options to reduce divorce stress.
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