When you said “I do”, you never imagined you’d be where you’re at today. Divorce can be devastating, no matter what the reason. So how do you get through it with your sanity intact?
While there’s no magic solution or quick fix, there are ways to make the process easier. All you need to do is learn a few coping mechanisms to help you heal and move on.
To get you started on the road to recovery, let’s look at 8 tips that help when coping with divorce.
1. Prepare for and Process Your Emotions
Emotions that come with a divorce feel like a rollercoaster. The up’s and down’s of sadness, confusion, anger, and denial can be intense. And you may feel anxious about your future.
Know that it’s ok and completely normal! It’s important to give yourself permission to feel it all and function at a less than optimal level for a while.
Go to a therapist or find a support group. Talking your feelings out with others will help you feel less overwhelmed.
Plus, know these emotions are temporary. Take all the time you need to heal and regroup.
2. Take Time for Self-Care
Part of coping with divorce is spending time with the most important person in your life – yourself! Self-care will help you re-energize your feelings of self-worth and boost your self-esteem.
Read a good book, pamper yourself at a spa, and get plenty of rest. It’s also a good time to attend that exercise or cooking class you always wanted to try.
Doing things that are good for your body and your mind will boost those positive feelings when you need them most.
3. Don’t Drag the Divorce Process out
For some, the divorce process can be a long one. Sometimes dragging out for years. But the more time it takes to deal with the details, the longer it takes to deal with the emotional toll it brings with it.
Give yourself plenty of time to gather documents, separate your stuff, and help your children transition. Talk to your lawyer to learn more about the process and how you can speed it along.
It also helps to not see your ex as an enemy. Taking a collaborative approach will help things proceed peacefully and end things as soon as possible so you can move on.
4. Surround Yourself with Supportive Friends
Having a great group of friends can be like having your very own built-in support group. So allow them to be there for you in your time of need and give you a soft place to land.
Friends give the best shoulders to cry on. They can offer advice or insight that you might not see on your own. And they can give you a good laugh in moments you need it most.
Dealing with divorce on your own will only drag out your hurt and make you feel alone. But allowing your friends to be there for you will speed up your healing process. Plus, it’s always a good feeling to know someone else has got your back.
5. Know You Don’t Owe Everyone a Full Explanation
Divorce is a very personal matter. But you may notice, because of this, some people will get very nosey. When coping with divorce, know you have the right to share information on your terms.
A lot of people feel they owe an explanation of their divorce. This may stem from feelings of guilt, shame, or disappointment.
But your divorce is your business. Taking ownership of what you tell to whom will give you back a sense of power in what can be a helpless situation.
Take time to think things through before announcing anything. Only then will you know how comfortable you feel sharing your personal details.
6. Explore New Interests
Life after divorce can look uncertain, there’s no doubt moving towards the unknown is scary. That’s why it’s important to explore new interests and create something to look forward to.
Maybe there’s a hobby you always had an interest in but never allowed yourself time to start. Now’s the perfect time to dive in!
Start writing that book you always wanted to. Take a class to learn a new skill or head back to school to earn your degree. Go on that bucket list trip your ex never wanted to plan.
Having a new activity in your life can feel like a fresh start. Plus, it’s something brand-new you can call all your own.
7. Don’t Make Any Hasty Decisions
Now is not the time to make any major decisions in your life. When it comes to decision making while coping with divorce, you should take it one step at a time.
Chances are your life is full of stress right now, and your emotions are running high. Making hasty decisions in that kind of environment may lead you to do things you normally would never do. You may not fully think out the consequences of your actions.
Do yourself a favor and take time to figure things out. Look at things logically instead of emotionally. And if in doubt, bounce any ideas off of someone else before you act.
8. Remind Yourself Things Will Get Better
The best part about coping with divorce is the fact you won’t be dealing with it forever. It’s only a temporary situation that you will get through!
Keep reminding yourself of this. When you are having a particularly bad day, know that tomorrow is a brand-new day full of possibilities.
The situation you are in is only a moment in your life, it’s not your whole life.
You’ll begin to notice that things get easier in time. And eventually, you’ll wake up one morning and no longer feel the weight of it on your shoulders anymore.
Remind yourself there is light at the end of this tunnel.
Find Healing When Coping with Divorce
While divorce is hard, it’s not the end of your world. By using these tips when coping with divorce, you can properly heal and move on to the next exciting chapter in your life.
Need some ideas on new hobbies and interests? Check out more tips in our Lifestyle blog!