14% of young adolescents (about 12 years) report turbulent relationships with their parent, which is mostly characterized by high conflict and low support. This number increases to 29% in middle adolescence (about 16 years), and 10% in late adolescence (about 20 years).
While there’s bound to be a conflict between parents and teenagers, it doesn’t mean that responsibilities can’t be handled.
Sometimes your kid may refuse to clean his/her room because he/she takes it as an ongoing struggle. Your teen wouldn’t want to clean because he/she is motivated to push you to the edge and see whether you can conform to his/her expectations.
This can sometimes leave you frustrated and thinking why you work hard to provide a home for him/her, yet he/she can’t perform a simple task like cleaning a room. When dealing with teenagers, it’s vital that you take a more personal approach.
First, let them know why keeping their room clean is essential, then give them direction on how best to work on complex tasks.
Getting your teenager to partake specific tasks can often be a daunting task. We share how to get a teenager to clean their room.
1. Take More Control
If your child is old enough to clean his/her room, don’t clean it for her! Doing so will only work against you. This is because it shows your child that you don’t think she’s old enough to clean it by herself. She’ll also get the impression that when she drags her feet or resists, you’ll end up doing it yourself!
Your teen will also tend not to believe what you say because what you say isn’t really what you mean. When your teenager gets such a message, your authority is in jeopardy. Doing it yourself might seem easier, but this can contribute to your child’s lack of motivation around chores.
2. Respect Your Teen’s Privacy
Your teens deserve some privacy, so threatening to get into their room while they are away at their friend’s place or school may lead to a confrontation. Popping in to check whether they are doing their task is okay, apart from that, show a little faith.
If your kid isn’t doing things the way you would expect, it doesn’t mean that he/she is rebellious or obstinate. It’s only that he/she is less organized and neat than you are.
Therefore, instead of forcing your kid to do things your way, you both have to come up with cleaning responsibilities that you can agree on. You should then let your kid meet the obligations in his/her way.
3. Lead by Example
You may work in a busy company, and probably spend a little time at home. However, if you’re organized, your teenager is bound to follow suit. You can also create more time through Managed IT Services which ensures your technology runs efficiently as you focus on other errands.
Take note that your kids will always take in what you do. So, if you aren’t organized, they’ll come to see that as usual and expected.
4. Don’t Snoop
With teenagers, you have to make sure that your intentions are pure. Don’t use your outrage about your teen’s messy room to start probing the dark corners of their closets, checking their mattresses and going through their pockets.
As a parent, your desire to snoop is understandable; it got to be resisted! Teenagers are getting to adulthood, and their privacy should be respected. Once you break their trust, it can poison your relationship.
5. Use Task Oriented Consequences
If you want your kid to be accountable for doing some work in his/her room, you should put a privilege on hold until a particular task is done. So, if you set a rule that on weekends, the room should be cleaned and freshened up, the computer has to stay off until that’s done.
Apart from weekends, you still need to sit down with your kid and set up a weekly expectation for cleaning. Using consequences and rewards helps your teenager learn desired behavior over time.
6. Divide and conquer
If your child’s room is too messy, it’s proving difficult to walk around inside, consider dividing the room into quadrants. You should then let your kid work on each quadrant at a time. Alternatively, you could make them focus on one item at a time – First clothes, then trash, then bookshelf.
Breaking down larger task makes it easier for your child to work on the tasks effectively.
7. Start Them Off
To get your teen working, you sometimes have to get them started. There is no problem if you spend the fifteen minutes to half an hour with your kid, showing him/her what’s needed to finish the task. You can teach him/her to put the clothes in the closet, pick, or inspect them.
Sometimes parents, tend to assume that their kids understand how to perform particular tasks, but they don’t. They’ve got to show how it’s done before they get it. Starting them off allows you to act as a role model, which clarifies to him/her what’s supposed to be done.
Learn How to Get a Teenager to Clean Their Room!
As a parent, knowing how to get a teenager to clean their room can be complicated. Teenagers are rebellious, and mostly they’ll get into a confrontation with you to push you to work on their tasks.
Kids want to have their own space. So, if you realize that your child isn’t organized, the best action would be to have a sit-down and formulate responsibilities that you both can agree on. While at it, let them meet the expectations in their way.
Teens will always feel lazy when their room is disorganized, and when there is plenty of work to be done. Helping them divide the room and split the tasks that have to be done makes everything easier for them.
They might sometimes not feel motivated to work on their own. If that’s the case, spend some time to start them off. By watching what you are doing, they’ll get a better understanding of how tasks should be handled.
Are you finding cleaning your home a daunting task? Check out our blog and learn the best ways to keep your apartment clean.