Everyone has gone through a bad breakup before, and everyone knows what it feels like. Sometimes you are just so heartbroken that you feel your world is going to end, other times you’re so angry you just want to break something.
Some breakups can make you go through the seven stages of grief, but ultimately you make it through. This time your friend is going through that tough time and helping a friend can be different than how you approach these situations yourself.
If your friend is in this tough time, here are some tips that you can use to console them and help them through it.
How You Should Be Helping A Friend
You must understand helping your friend through a breakup is never easy. But using these tips, hopefully, you will be able to do it more effectively.
Foster Communication (If They’re Willing)
Talking through things is always helpful. Remind your friend that they can do this with you, and you are there to listen.
But do not force them to speak to you, as this can cause a backlash from them and cause more problems that they don’t need. You’re there to support, not to cause more issues.
Be The Voice of Reason
Breakups can make them feel like their on an island alone. But you must be their bridge and the filter. In the anger stage of grief, people will often act on vicious impulses.
Remind them that those actions will only cause more damage, and probably a lawsuit. Allow them to release all their anger to you and you can talk them out of it with a level head.
“Silver Linings Playbook”
Don’t be so quick to jump into the good things that the breakup produced, like them being single, or that the person was actually treating them badly and it’s over now.
This minimalizes and invalidates their feelings. Give them time to get to that point. As their friend, allow them to go through their feelings so they can eventually come around to that.
Help Them Reinvent Themselves
Getting over a break up is cause for your friend to try new things to shake off the negativity that came with the breakup. Help them to reinvent themselves.
Start new hobbies, make new plans, build better routines, and make more activities with friends to foster productivity and growth. Before long, this can give them a fresh, new identity no longer tied to the past relationship.
Don’t Act Like You Know What’s Best
it is easy to assume that because you went through it before, you know exactly what your friend needs at this moment. The fact is you don’t. Every relationship, and therefore every breakup is different.
Understanding that you don’t always know what may or may not be good for them will help you be there for them more effectively. Listen to them and feed off of what they need. do not project.
Let Them Find Their Own Path
As a friend, you want to help your friend back to their happy place, but ultimately you must understand that their path back is ultimately theirs to walk alone. There’s only so much you can do.
Getting them to consider some self-help methods can help them in this regard because ultimately they must be okay with themselves first.
Support When It’s Needed
Breakups are part of life, sometimes your relationships just don’t work out and that’s okay. It takes time to heal.
They are tough, and helping a friend through them can be just as hard. Using these tips, helping your friend through one can be a bit easier. Remember, this is what friends are for.
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