You walk into a room and instantly scan it: exits, faces, energy. You notice every shift in tone, every pause in a text message, every unread email. Your mind is always running through what could go wrong, what you should have done differently, what you need to do next.
From the outside, you might seem attentive, responsible, even impressive. Inside, it feels like your body never really rests.
This state of being constantly “on guard” is often called hypervigilance. It’s not a personality flaw—it’s a nervous system adaptation that once kept you safe. Therapy can help you understand why it’s there and slowly learn what it’s like to live without being on high alert all the time.
What hypervigilance actually is
Hypervigilance is a heightened state of scanning for potential threats—emotional, physical, or relational. It can show up as:
• Always anticipating worst-case scenarios
• Feeling startled or on edge easily
• Having trouble relaxing, even in “safe” situations
• Overanalyzing others’ facial expressions, words, or silences
• Struggling to sleep because your mind won’t stop
Often, hypervigilance is rooted in environments where something really was off: unpredictable moods, conflict, emotional neglect, abuse, or chronic stress. Your nervous system learned, very wisely, that staying alert could help you avoid danger.
In trauma-informed work, including the kind Erin McMahon, LCSW practices at Integration Psychotherapy, hypervigilance is seen as a protective response—not as you being “too sensitive” or “dramatic.”
Erin McMahon, LCSW, Integration Psychotherapy LLC
When protection becomes exhausting
The problem isn’t that your nervous system learned to be protective. The problem is that it doesn’t always get the memo that things have changed.
You might now be in a safer environment—different home, different relationships, different job—yet your body acts as if the old rules still apply. That can lead to:
• Constant tension and fatigue
• Difficulty being present with people you care about
• Trouble enjoying good things because you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop
• Health issues related to chronic stress
• A sense of never really arriving in your own life
Hypervigilance is like having an internal alarm system with a broken volume knob: it goes off loudly, even for small cues, and it rarely quiets down on its own.
How therapy helps you understand your high-alert system
In psychodynamic, trauma-informed therapy, you and your therapist explore both your present-day experiences of hypervigilance and the contexts in which it developed.
You might discover that:
• As a child, you had to track a caregiver’s mood to know if it was safe to speak
• You learned to notice every crack in the surface to prevent emotional explosions
• You took on responsibility early—emotionally, practically, or both
Talking about these histories in a safe, grounded therapeutic space isn’t about reliving trauma. It’s about helping your mind and body understand: That was then. This is now.
A therapist like Erin will also pay careful attention to your pacing, checking in about what feels manageable to explore and when you might need to slow down or ground yourself.
Working with the body, not just the mind
Hypervigilance is as much a body experience as a mental one. That’s why therapy that includes the nervous system—not just thoughts—can be so powerful.
This might involve:
• Grounding practices: Feeling your feet on the floor, noticing the support of the chair, orienting to the room you’re in.
• Gentle movement: Small shifts, stretches, or posture changes that help your body sense safety.
• Breath and pacing: Not forced deep breathing, but noticing your natural rhythm and experimenting with what feels supportive rather than overwhelming.
• Over time, these tools can help widen what’s often called your “window of tolerance”—the range in which your nervous system feels safe enough to rest, connect, and think clearly.
Some therapists also use EMDR- or IFS-informed approaches to work with the parts of you that are on duty 24/7, scanning for danger. Instead of trying to shut them down, the goal is to get to know them: What are they afraid would happen if they relaxed, even for a moment?
Building a new sense of safety, one moment at a time
Learning to feel safer is not about convincing yourself “nothing bad will ever happen again.” It’s about gradually experiencing that, right now, in this moment, you have more options and resources than you did back then.
In therapy, this might look like:
• Noticing tiny pockets of safety in your day—moments when your body softens even slightly
• Experiencing a relationship (with your therapist) where you don’t have to be on guard
• Practicing letting your guard down in small, intentional ways, rather than all at once
• Exploring the beliefs that keep you on alert, like “If I stop paying attention, everything will fall apart”
At Integration Psychotherapy , the focus is on collaboration: you and your therapist decide together what tools to try and how far to go in any given session, so your system isn’t pushed beyond what it can handle.
Imagining life beyond constant alert
It can be hard to even picture what life would feel like without hypervigilance. But small shifts add up:
• You might notice periods of genuine rest, where your thoughts aren’t racing.
• Social situations might feel less like performance and more like connection.
• You may start trusting yourself enough to set boundaries, say no, or ask for help.
• The world begins to feel a little less hostile, a little more navigable.
Hypervigilance developed for a reason. Honoring that reason—and working gently with your mind and body—can open the door to a different way of being: one where you’re still capable of noticing what matters, but you’re no longer living in a constant state of emergency.
You don’t have to turn off your alert system overnight. You only have to take the next step toward understanding it, tending to it, and slowly teaching it that, at least in this moment, it’s okay to rest.